and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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