I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
