Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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