Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
