Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh god it's open bar.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
