obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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