Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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