so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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