Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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