Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
