we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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