the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
