I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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