someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
