thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
