At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
