For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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