There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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