I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
