Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
