either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Couch. On fire.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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