Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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