the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
