Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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