So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
