We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize