He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize