she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
