she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
