DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Someone signed my nipple.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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