real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
