the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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