Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
