It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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