I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
