What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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