gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
