It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
