i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
