Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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