is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
