Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
