I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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