Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
