the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
