So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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