I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
