I heard we made out
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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