whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just puked most of my soul out..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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