i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize