Umm I'm too high to move.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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