when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
