: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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