1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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