Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
