Please, let me fuck your mom
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
