I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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