lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize