i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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